The Agonizing Road of Adversity
Adversity: a state, condition, or instance of serious or continued difficulty.
How many of you have found yourself in a state of adversity? It is not a very comfortable place to be. Each day you wake up with a sense of dread. Some days it is more intense than others, however it is still there in some degree. In many cases those around you may not even know you are in such a state. For various reasons we keep this adversity to ourselves. It may be you have a medical condition you do not want anyone to know about just yet. Perhaps your spouse has had an affair and the two of you are working on your marriage. Maybe you are suffering from some type of abuse; be it mental, physical, or emotional. Or you have lost your job, or are in trouble with the law.
Adversity strikes and it changes your life and most likely, your lifestyle. You may become more guarded, not as easy going as you once were. You feel as if you are on an emotional rollercoaster. A rollercoaster that has a mind of it's own. You can be in the presence of others and are doing fine and all it takes is something to set the trigger, and that rollercoaster is off and running. Sometimes it takes you for a short ride, sometimes it takes you through the full monty of emotional states. Each time you embark on that rollercoaster you hope that since you have been on it before, this trip will be much easier. However that is not the case with adversity. You must remember the definition, a state, condition, or instance of SERIOUS or CONTINUED DIFFICULTY.
Depending on the nature of your adversity, you may not have the support you need to adequately move through this state. Fear, shame, humiliation and various other emotions hold you back from sharing your struggle. With lack of human support, many turn to other means of support. Some choose to medicate their way through this time. Be it prescription medication, illegal substances, or alcohol. They see no other way to deal with what is going on in their lives and are looking for some type of relief. This way of thinking is short sighted. Once the drugs or alcohol wear off, we tend to forget, the situation will still be there. Many know this but truly feel they have no other way of getting through the day without these helpers. They know that these helpers will always be there for them, will not divulge their secrets, and will lift their spirits, even if it is for just a short period of time. Many times these substances are taken in secret so as not to have further judgment passed upon them. Eating disorders also show up during times of adversity. Many have been conditioned to equate food to emotions. It can be either eating too much or not eating enough.
Sometimes those who are an integral part of your life do not realize how this adversity is affecting you, or do not want to see how it is affecting you, depending on what role they are playing. It is heard all the time, Wow I did not know s/he was going through that; or Why didn't s/he say something?; or I didn't realize it would come to this. For those you have hidden your adversity from, they may not understand why you could not confide in them. Those who are playing a role in your adversity, tend to run away in order to shield themselves from the part they are playing.
Judgmental attitudes can cause so much harm. They play havoc in most cases. Judgmental attitudes are what keeps us on our emotional roller coasters. We don't know how they will affect us and to what degree, so therefore we avoid them at all costs. And sometimes the cost is that person's life. Sometimes it is actual death, sometimes death of a relationship, sometimes a mental/emotional death.
Many people are able to follow the road of adversity and arrive at a positive outcome. It is not an easy road, encountering many detours, many upward climbs, and even some quick fast moving downward slides. For others, they remain on the road of adversity for a very long time.
As humans, we owe it to ourselves and others to really take an interest in the wellbeing of others. Really mean it when you ask someone how they are doing. Do not just hear the words they say, listen to the words they reply with, the tone of the reply, look into their eyes, see their facial expression. To do so, you may be helping them off their road of adversity.
At Integrity Total Wellness we can be the confidential support you need during a time of adversity. Call us today, you do not need to travel this road alone! 248-884-7288